Who are You, Who am I
by The White Camellia
Summary: When you die and become a pawn in a god's hand, what are you to do? When a twist, a mistake in space ends up with you slowly losing your sanity so you don't know what's real anymore... Who is Rena Okumura, really? Is she a demon or human, is she dead or alive, do I even exist? I have scars where I don't, a tattoo from a party that never happened. Who are you, who am I? oc-insert
1. Prologue

When you walk down the street like a good little girl, looking both ways before crossing the street, you don't expect a car to come out of freakin _nowhere _and slam into you.

It was an _oh fuck is that a car_ when you first notice and _who the hell drinks in the middle of the day_ that comes after. And then it hits you.

That really _really really_ hurts you know. I mean, it's like a _painpainpainohmygodthishurts ithurtsithurtsithurtsletiten d _when the car hits.

And then I died.

* * *

_A new soul? How did she die?_

_Hit and run._

_Ooooh. Those are getting pretty common nowadays. Which body will she be designated to?_

_Dimension 629, 3-A4._

_Eh? Isn't that one, like, really unstable? We could have an Isis repeat if things go wonky._

_I have checked the child's mentality. Her mind is structured in a way that if any malfunctions in Pauline's sphere occur, they will be sufficiently endured._

_You mean she won't go mad. We wipe souls for a _reason_. If you do this then-_

_She is needed. Her new body has been conditioned. It should handle the strain._

_There is only so much you can do when the body is still in the womb! You could irreparably-_

_The benefits outweigh the risks. She will not remember everything at birth, but will simply… pick up things a little faster than her peers. _

_The failures you mean. It's things like this that give us cases like Isis and Avi._

_We have taken the necessary precautions. The Eldest is the one who suggested this, so this is how it shall be. Are you challenging our leader?_

_The Eldest?! No! Oh no. I would not dream of- it is… it is just that she is so young._

_You were younger._

_I was lucky. All you have to do is take a look at the Asranda to see _how _lucky._

_The Eldest has decided. You have no right to judge._

* * *

In one world, when the children of Satan are born, they are fraternal triplets. Two boys, one girl. Two of them are sickly and human, Yukio and Rena, a boy and a girl. The second boy was covered with blue flames, having inherited Satan's blue flames. The girl sleeps and dreams.

* * *

In another world, when the children of Satan are born, they are fraternal triplets. Two boys, one girl. One is sickly and human, Yukio a boy. The other two, a boy and a girl, Rin and Rena were covered with blue flames, having inherited Satan's blue flames. The girl wakes and dreams.

* * *

The first thing Rena remembers, _is pain._


	2. And Rena Dreams

When Rena is four she tries to talk to her daddy about her dreams.

"Yes Rena? What about them?" Shiro crouches down and looks Rena straight in the eye.

Rena likes that. It makes her feel like an equal, makes her feel respected.

"W-well they-"Then The-Voice-That's-Not-a-Voice-But-Is speaks up. It (He? She?)tells Rena to lie. But lying is _wrong_ Rena thinks at Voice. Daddy said so.

Daddy said that after you blamed that broken plate on Yukio. Remember how he cried? This is different. Daddy won't love you anymore if you tell him.

It's true you know. Remember how the nice ladies at the day-care were so nice and happy at first but hated Rin after they saw how strong he was? This is the same thing.

But- (Daddy's not like that. He's nice and strong and went to Rin-)

And the words come spilling out of Rena's mouth but it isn't _her_ talking. Rena does_ not _like that. It makes her feel untrustworthy. "I-I had a nightmare! We were having a picnic and stuff when you and Rin and Yukio got eaten up by killer giant dandelions! And I was running and running and it was about to get me too when I woke up a-and" Not-Rena bursts into tears. "I-it was so scawry!"

After Shiro snorts at the killer dandelions part "Stop that! It's not funny. "Rena thinks about Voice and first time she met voice. It was… not very nice.

It had hurt more than the time Rena had fallen and hurt her knee, hurt worse than the time Rena had fallen down the stairs.

Those times had hurt, but not as much as _that time_ (it hurts_ithurtsithurtssosomuch_) that crushing feeling on her chest that made it hard to breath. It really really hurt but… what was worse than that was that Rena was _alone_. Rena was never alone, cuz she had Daddy to say that he'll make it all better and Rin to protect her and Yukio to cry on… but she's alone and no one can help Rena here.

Rena's alone and it's so dark, so dark that she can't even _breathe_ and it hurts it hurts it hurts so so much and and

Voice said that she was sorry about that. Voice used to scare Rena sometimes when she yelled at Rena, but Voice can be nice too. Personally, Rena thinks that Voice was stuck in the dark place (it hurts it hurts _it hurts_) cuz that's where they first met. Then, Voice didn't know anything at _all_, not even her own name. Voice only learned that she was a girl right now.

It's okay now though, Voice isn't alone in the dark place anymore, she has Rena now.

_I wasn't alone._

The voice lied a lot too, even if it wasn't necessary.

_I'm not lying._

…

_I am not lying. And I am not silly. Or nice. Just… look. Don't tell anyone about your dreams, kay?_

Why?

_People don't like it when other people are different. Like, now, you're stronger than normal so people don't like you, and on the other side people won't like you if you tell them about the shadows. They'll really hate you if you talk about the "dreams", cuz they're different._

But Daddy doesn't act like that with Rin and

_But Daddy is strong. The reason why the others fear Rin is because they're not strong enough to know him. Yukio has always known both you and Rin, so he doesn't yell and hate like the others. If they learn about you, they'll throw you in a loony bin. Cuz you're different in a way they don't understand._

Daddy won't-

_Daddy won't do something like that? You know how adults are. They always think they know better, you can't tell them stuff and expect them to forget about it. They have to "help" you. Cue the loony bin. And don't even think about your brothers. Rin can't keep his mouth shut and Yukio hasn't really learned that sometimes, you can't tell Daddy. They'll tattle._

Daddy- Daddy's nice. He-he won't do something like that. He and Rin can keep secrets and-

_Not if they think that its for your own good. They'll think you're crazy, Rena. They'll want to help you with your crazy Rena. Most people ain't got voices in their heads. They'll try to get rid of me. Is that what you want?_

No…

_Then don't tell. It's that easy. _

…

_What is it?_

Voice… why _do _I have the "dreams" and why can I only talk to you and and and

_Erm… that's kinda hard to answer. Alright. Gimmie a minute._

?

_I am beseeching the powers that be to give me an answer._

You mean God?

…_Sure. Let's go with that._

… are you being sac-cas-ic?

_It's called sarcastic. And yes. Do you want to hear about your dreams or not?_

Yes, please.

_Brat. Alright. So, the best analogy I could come up with for your dreams were cars. Now, say there's two cars, driving side by side, one on the left and one on the right. They both move forwards and never ever meet. One side has super-strength Rena, the other has shadow Rena. Kay?_

Mmm.

_So, these cars, one of them has a busted engine. So it starts going outta control and is ready to crash with the other. If it crashed, that would be bad. People could die; lots and lots of people are on those cars. So, bad. Crashing is a big no no. _

Kay.

_So, that's where you come in. You're a bridge that keeps those cars from crashing. But, you touch both cars when they're not supposed to. That's how your dreams happen. Sleep is connected to that bridge, but they're different cars. That's why when you sleep for eight hours here; you could be awake for sixteen there. You're in both cars at the same time, but you only have one head to stick through a window. Got it?_

…You make weird analogies, Voice.

_Why you-_

But, yeah. I get it. …you never explained yourself though.

_Gurk! Ummm, well… Later! I'll tell you later._

Voice!

"So, Rena, if you have nightmares ever again, Daddy will come to the rescue! So don't be scared, okay?"

_And it looks like Daddy finally stopped laughing about the killer dandelions. Now, time to show that we were paying attention._

…but we weren't.

_Daddy doesn't need to know that. Time to get movin'! Chop, chop. _

Honestly, voice…

But Not-Rena starts talking again saying, "Yes Daddy! Cuz Daddy is the strongest!"

Rena's hair is ruffled "Hey! What was that for?" and then tickled "pfff-hahaha! S-stop that!"

And Rena forgets about the entire thing. 


End file.
